There is no compliment better to me than when a student shows their appreciation for what I do for them. It could be a fist bump, an affirmation, or a note, sometimes even a drawing, that lets me know that despite all appearances at times, they really do value me as their teacher.

Earning the respect of random groups of teenagers is not an easy thing for an adult, especially an older one. Teenagers see old people as “the enemy” in many regards and are quick to get defensive over the smallest of perceived slights, especially on hot button issues or “triggers”.

Getting these same students to learn things, for which there is no immediate reward or purpose oftentimes other than a “grade” given to them by “the man”, can be a real challenge, especially in the early morning, after lunch, on Friday’s….well pretty much anytime really.

One must be a very astute observer of them to truly connect with them. Finding common ground, checking in with them at the door each day, and making sure you thank them and invite them back at the end of each day, goes a long way toward making these things happen.

Making learning fun, enjoyable, mildly competitive, but not overly so, creating engaging lessons, showing how the learning relates to their lives in real ways, and having a decent sense of humor helps solidify the bond between teacher and student.

So when a student, a class , or a team recognizes you publicly for something you have done well, it is immensely rewarding. Sometimes it feels akin to climbing Mount Everest or achieving some extreme goal with certain kids. When a teacher can consistently get unsolicited compliments from students, it makes the year much more enjoyable. Work becomes something akin to hanging out with friends while doing fun activities.

We recently had our soccer banquet and I was recognized by the head soccer coach, many of the players in their speeches and the booster club for my contributions to the program, which meant a lot to me. Some of the players came up to me and said I was the “daddy” of the soccer program (which is a compliment in that context). I also had a student who was being subversively disrespectful for a week or so come up and tell me my class is his favorite class and I was his favorite teacher. I also have an envelope in my desk that has a bunch of handwritten notes I have received over the years from students that have positive affirmations on them for those difficult days when you feel like you don’t have anything left to give.

Anyway, student compliments are always the best for me. Teaching requires a tremendous outpouring of mind, body, and soul. To refill ones tank. it is vital to hear positive comments from students, parents, and administrators.

Ten Tips For Making Good Compliments

1. Be Specific: Tailor your compliment to something unique about the person. Instead of saying “You’re nice,” say something like “I really appreciate how you always take the time to listen.”
2. Sincerity: Make sure your compliment is genuine. People can often tell when compliments are insincere, so it’s important to mean what you say.
3. Focus on Effort: Acknowledge someone’s hard work or effort rather than just their natural talents or traits. For example, “Your dedication to improving your skills really shows.”
4. Use Positive Language: Frame your compliment in positive language to convey warmth and appreciation. Avoid backhanded compliments or sarcasm.
5. Be Timely: Don’t wait too long to give a compliment. If you notice something praiseworthy, say it sooner rather than later.
6. Consider Context: Tailor your compliment to the situation and the relationship you have with the person. What might be appropriate in one context might not be in another.
7. Encourage Confidence: Compliment traits or actions that contribute to someone’s confidence or self-esteem. For example, “You handled that presentation with such confidence.”
8. Be Authentic: Don’t force compliments or exaggerate. Authenticity is key to making your compliment meaningful.
9. Respect Boundaries: Be mindful of cultural differences and personal boundaries when giving compliments. What might be acceptable in one culture could be seen as inappropriate in another.
10. Follow Up: If appropriate, follow up your compliment with a question or further conversation to show genuine interest and engagement.

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Thanks for reading The Lifelong Learning and Education Blog! Be sure to reach out to your children’s teachers and send them some words of encouragement if you are able. It does not need to be anything fancy, sometimes the smallest amounts of words, carry the most meaning. Check out some of my other recent posts if you have a moment!

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